The Curious Case of Feeling Unreal
- Billi Silverstein
- Nov 28
- 2 min read
There are moments when the world seems to lose its depth. Colours fade, sounds grow distant, and the familiar edges of reality soften. One might continue speaking, moving, working, yet somewhere inside a quiet disbelief begins to form. Is this really happening? These are experiences known as derealisation and depersonalisation, and although they can feel profoundly strange, they are far from rare.
The two are closely related but distinct. Derealisation describes the sense that the external world has become dreamlike or artificial. Rooms may appear flat, people oddly remote, time slightly suspended. Depersonalisation, in contrast, is the feeling of being detached from oneself, as though watching one’s body or thoughts from a distance, aware of movement but somehow not inhabiting it.
While unsettling, these states are not evidence of madness. They are protective responses, the mind’s quiet way of shielding itself when experience becomes overwhelming. The psyche steps back, as if to observe rather than endure. It is not a failure of reality testing but a testament to the mind’s capacity for survival.
Many people first encounter these sensations in the aftermath of stress, loss, or trauma. For some, they arrive suddenly and depart just as quickly. For others, they linger, a subtle veil between self and world that refuses to lift. The more one tries to force a return to normality, the more elusive it becomes.
In therapy, the aim is not to banish these experiences but to understand their language. They tell us that the body and mind have reached the limits of what feels safe. When approached with care, curiosity, and containment, what once felt like absence can become a path toward deeper integration. Slowly, the person who felt unreal begins to re-inhabit themselves.
To feel unreal is, paradoxically, to be profoundly human. It is the mind’s signal that something has been too much for too long. When met with steadiness rather than fear, derealisation and depersonalisation can mark not the loss of self, but the beginning of its return, quiet, grounded, and once again, real.
In psychotherapy, we explore diversity of experience with empathy and without judgement.
Get in touch today to consider your options.
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