Fascination, Admiration, and Jealousy! Reclaiming Belonging Among Women
- Billi Silverstein
- Jan 2
- 2 min read
On the red carpet and in other highly visible spaces, the emotional boundary between fascination, admiration and jealousy can become difficult to discern. Women often speak about the quiet discomfort of standing beside others who are being celebrated for qualities that once anchored their own sense of value. In environments shaped by comparison, recognition can feel scarce, as though one person’s visibility somehow diminishes another’s.
For many, this discomfort has roots in earlier life. Growing up exceptional, whether academically, creatively or aesthetically, often brings praise and a sense of safety. Over time, achievement can become entwined with identity. Being outstanding is not simply something one does, but something one is. When adulthood introduces a peer group of equally accomplished women, that identity is challenged. Admiration for another may sit alongside a subtle fear of displacement. Fascination can carry an edge of self scrutiny. Jealousy may emerge as an unexpected companion.
What is rarely acknowledged is that these responses are not signs of insecurity or spite. They are adaptive emotional reactions to a shift in relational context. The psyche is recalibrating, moving from a world organised around distinction to one that requires coexistence. Jealousy, in this sense, is often a form of grief. Grief for the loss of singularity, and for the end of an internal contract that equated being chosen with being worthy.
When explored therapeutically, these feelings become meaningful rather than shameful. They offer insight into how self worth has been constructed and where it may need to soften and expand. As comparison is gently examined, women can begin to separate their value from constant external validation.
With support, it becomes possible to move from rivalry to relationship, from hierarchy to shared presence. Being one among many celebrated women no longer signals loss, but belonging. In that shift, admiration can deepen into connection, and celebration can exist without comparison, competition or the quiet the erosion of self-worth.
In psychotherapy, we explore diversity of experience with empathy and without judgement.
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