To fascinate or be fascinated? That is the question…..

Emotional well-being through non-judgemental psychotherapy

The distinction between being fascinated and seeking to fascinate others has significant psychological implications, particularly in areas such as emotional well-being, motivation and human connection. In a world where social influence often dominates, understanding why it may be more beneficial to be fascinated rather than to fascinate is crucial. Being fascinated involves engaging deeply with the world and being open to new experiences, whereas trying to fascinate often revolves around seeking external validation or attention.

From a psychological perspective, intrinsic motivation, as outlined in Self-Determination Theory, plays a central role in understanding the value of being fascinated. When individuals focus on being fascinated; immersing themselves in the present moment and exploring new idea, they engage their intrinsic motivation. This intrinsic satisfaction, rather than external validation, contributes to better emotional well-being. Conversely, seeking to fascinate others often stems from extrinsic motivation, which can lead to anxiety, dissatisfaction, and a disconnection from one's authentic self.

Moreover, being fascinated fosters a mindset of openness, curiosity and growth, allowing individuals to embrace challenges and new ideas. In contrast, the desire to fascinate others can limit emotional flexibility by focusing on how one is perceived, leading to anxiety and a fear of rejection. This focus on external approval can stifle creativity and self-expression.

Genuine human connection is built through mutual curiosity and empathy, which are nurtured by fascination. In contrast, trying to fascinate others can result in superficial, transactional relationships. Additionally, being fascinated can serve as a form of emotional regulation, reducing stress and promoting mental well-being, while striving to fascinate often causes performance anxiety and emotional distress.

Ultimately, prioritising being fascinated over seeking to fascinate promotes greater psychological balance, fulfillment and more authentic connections with others.

In psychotherapy, we explore diversity of experience with empathy and without judgement.

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